This week Modern Ed responds to readers’ questions about tipping and gratuities.
Dear Modern Ed:
Do I have to give a tip for counter service? I get that cashiers work hard and the Bay Area is expensive but it feels expected, unappreciated, and disconnected to the quality of service.
Nickeled and Dimed
Dear Dimed:
The custom of tipping has always been a voluntary payment as a way of saying thank you for excellent service. It is also bewildering which professions expect tips and which do not. Waiters and bartenders have always been included as have hotel maids, doormen, and bellhops, while retail workers, up until recently, were not. Please know that Modern Ed does not expect a tip at the end of this question.
It’s positive that you’ve recognized most people working in retail roles work hard for low wages. While the option to offer a tip is always optional, Modern Ed recommends rewarding good service in order to promote more of it in our brusque world. If you feel that someone working a counter was cheerful and attentive to your needs, by all means hit the tip button on the screen or drop a buck or two in the jar. If, however, the service is disinterested or lacking, don’t feel obligated.
A final point: in addition to tipping, what most people working a counter really desire is to be treated with dignity. They are working hard so you can have hot coffee and a bagel whenever you get the urge. Smile, say hello, ask them how their day is going. Say please and thank you. Those courtesies will feel good to both of you.
Thank you for writing,
Modern Ed
Dear Modern Ed:
What is the right amount to tip a waiter in a restaurant? Years ago it was 10% for standard service and 15% for excellent service. Now I get receipts suggesting 18%, 20%, and 22%. And then there might be a service fee already included. I feel like there has been tip inflation, but service is no better than it was before.
Need a Calculator
Dear Calculator:
Tipping culture evolves and varies from region-to-region. Modern Ed just returned from a trip to Portugal where there is no expectation of tipping and the service was no different than it is here. What was refreshing was not so much the cost-savings as the time-savings of not having to speculate about expectations and calculate an amount.
If you think of a tip as your thank you to the wait staff, stop for a moment and ask yourself why you are thanking them. Did they merely take your order and bring it to you? Or did their participation add to your enjoyment of the dining experience? If a waiter in a casual restaurant took your order efficiently and brought your food and beverages without issue, then a 10% to 15% tip is an expected courtesy. However, if you are dining at a more elegant locale where your waiter provided insights to the menu items, a recommendation on wine, was amenable to your requests for customization, and kept their distance in respect to your privacy but magically appeared whenever you had a request, then you have enjoyed exceptional service which should be recognized with a tip 18% to 25%.
If for some reason you felt the service was lacking, you can always adjust the amount of the tip downward. What is not necessary and unwelcome is for you to explain your displeasure to the waiter. Your gratuity – or lack thereof – will speak for itself.
Thank you for writing.
Modern Ed
Dear Modern Ed:
Can you weigh in on a topic? When I was growing up, my parents always left a tip for hotel housekeeping. My husband’s family never did. He feels we are paying high enough rates to stay in a hotel and we never even see the housekeeping staff so we aren’t rewarding exceptional service as it never varies. I feel these workers work hard so we can enjoy our stay and a few bucks means more to them than it does to us.
Parting Gift
Dear Parting:
Modern Ed agrees with your husband that hotel stays are not inexpensive and you rarely encounter the housekeeping staff. But isn’t that the whole goal of great service? If you find your room is magically spotless and well-stocked, with everything working properly, then leaving a few bucks per night for the housekeeping staff will recognize their effort to make your stay more enjoyable and won’t make a dent in your overall travel budget.
Thank you for writing,
Modern Ed
Dear Modern Ed:
What are the correct amounts to tip in the gig economy? Are there expectations around meal delivery, or a ride home from the airport, baby sitting, or dog walking?
Feelin’ Tipsy
Dear Tipsy:
Most of our customs around tipping developed when receiving service outside of the home was rare. Most people could not afford to dine in restaurants and stay in hotels and people performed for themselves most of the tasks you mentioned in your question. Today, all of those tasks can be performed by strangers within minutes of requesting them with some clicks on your phone. We should all be grateful for the options our abundant society offers.
While the method of service delivery has changed, the underlying principal has not. You are offering a gratuity to thank the provider for exceptional service.
Someone bringing a hot meal to your door doesn’t have a lot of opportunity to demonstrate great service (besides timeliness and courtesy), but they have gone out and hustled so you don’t have to. The service they are providing isn’t the meal but the convenience and that is worth 10% – 20% of the tab. Special consideration should be given for large orders, long distance deliveries, or service during bad weather or rush times.
Rides for hire have more ability to show you good service by being a good driver that gets you to your destination promptly and in comfort. While ride-hailing apps say no tip is necessary, 10%-20% of the fair is appreciated.
If baby sitters and dog walkers provide frequent service, you don’t necessarily need to add a tip if the hourly rate is adequate. However, with all regular service providers that don’t get tips, occasional extra recognition or holiday bonuses are appreciated.
Thank you for writing,
Modern Ed